Success And Its Enemies

Do you know how to dance? Are you familiar with the dance "tango"? Have you ever tried dancing the same? Well, unlike modern and off-beat dances like you know, this dance is usually performed by a male dance partner, who manipulates and controls the steps, and a female dance partner who sways and dances with grace under her partner's manipulation. In total, one cannot dance tango alone. As the saying goes, "it takes two to tango".


The mechanics of tango, by analogy, somewhat apply in real life situation. In life, there exist manipulation and manipulated individuals. Whether at home, in school, and in the bigger community that we live in, we witness growth-stunting and success-defying relationships manifested by one who controls and another who allows himself or herself to be controlled by the other. In this "manipulator-manipulated relationship", the manipulator imposes and dictates what the other must do or omit to do using or applying maneuvering strategies like anger, fear and guilt either verbally or physically. These mechanisms are the enemies of success.


Let me illustrate how the manipulator is able to control and manage the acts of another using his maneuvering techniques that are stumbling blocks to success.


The imposition of "fear" one another is one of the effective maneuvering tools used by manipulators. The manipulated allows himself or herself to be controlled by letting the manipulator impose fear of becoming an outcast, among others, compel the manipulated to submit to the control of the manipulator.


In some instances, the manipulated individuals'"fear" kept them asserting themselves. Their acts of submitting to the dictates of the manipulator were manifestations of weakness, therefore, success-defeating.


Another maneuvering technique used by the manipulators is "anger".


Silent treatment may also be used to incite another to anger. Once the manipulator is able to stir up the other and make him or her angry, he would turn the table against the latter and blame him or her for losing his or her control.


Like in fear, the acts of the manipulated or controlled individuals in some instances are success-evading.


Lastly, a manipulator may also use "guilt" as a tool to control another.


Guilt as an emotion may be useful or noxious emotions. They are normal and natural human emotions which are part of our lives. The fear of defying the laws of God and of man, the guilt brought injustice to one's life are healthy indications and manifestations of one's ethical values. Fear, anger and guilt become crippling though when we allow others to use them in order to control us. Ergo, no one could be able to control if no one would allow him or her to.


If one wants to succeed in life, he or she should be able to identify the maneuvering techniques and strategies discussed above and should not allow the same to be used by another to control his or her actions. One should not let fear, guilt and anger rule his or her life. No one would dare try to manipulate another if the latter would repel and challenge the same.


"A complete Book of Success" wrote:"In any success-defying relationship it takes one who controls by manipulation and one who permits himself to be controlled..." "Without a partner, however, the controller can never play his game. It is as simple as that. Once you realized this basic truth, all you have to do is stop playing the game..." "...letting others to control us is a sure fire way toward failure".


The concept of success is relative. Although everyone wants to succeed in life, each has his or her own standards and measure of success. The translation of dreams into reality, the achievement of goals, and the fulfillment of wishes and aspirations are but normal and typical cravings of every rational individual.


The road to success, however, is not always a smooth sailing path. There are bents and bumps in the form of challenges, trials and failures along its way. The correct and desirable attitude, however, would be turn to these stumbling blocks on your favor by considering them as learning mechanisms.


Fear, anger and guilt are but ordinary spices of life. Although these emotions are considered "enemies" of success when used by one to manipulate another, the same can be turned into a friendly ally through discovering the proper way of dealing with dame to avert failure. Learning to control your emotions, your feelings, your thoughts yourself instead of allowing others to do it for you would be one big step toward success.


Conquer your fears, maintain a firm but reasonable disposition, set your goals and work hard to achieve them. Play your own game and win it!