Not Yet The Right Time

I hate this feeling I'm having right now! It is as if I'm in an island, lost and stranded. I think everybody is familiar with this feeling. I mean this strange feeling. Can this be love? Have you ever tried to love somebody with all your heart? I think no one is a beginner when it comes to love. They said that love is a special feeling felt for a special person. I thought when I am in love I would be contented and happy for what I have but my experiences of love made me realized that love could only make your heart ache a lot without being noticed. And it is not any ordinary pain that you feel but a deep wound that leaves a scar and will always be remembered every time you see that person who hurt you so much.


Love is never fair. You have to fight for your love with all your might even though you know that your losing the game. But why is it when you are serious enough to fight for it, it is also when the person you love treats your relationship as a game for kids. It really hurts. I've tried to be in a relationship but it was never what I expected to be because there were so many conflicts between the two of us. Many people say that relationships have to undergo that stage so that their relationship could be more stronger as each day passes by. But we were not able to surpass that. I suddenly remembered what one of my teachers said. She said that if you have a relationship you should make it an inspiration but not a destruction in your studies. So I have to let go of it because this relationship will have no direction anymore and it starts to ruin my studies. I wouldn't be able to know when I am going to be in love again. It is just happens in a wink of an eye. Currently for now, it is just up to crushes because maybe my mother was right that it is not yet the right time to have a relationship. I know having a relationship at this age is part of growing up and being a teenager. But mostly of the teenagers especially the girls are not allowed by their parents to have a relationship unless they already graduated in college and they already have a good occupation. But didn't they pass that kind of stage in life? Maybe because it is also for the own good of their children. They want to protect them so as not to destroy their lives. Just like me, when they knew that I had a boyfriend, they got so mad and I was grounded for one month. I have nothing to do but to cry. Now I realized that they just want to protect me and to finish my studies first. Maybe also because I was the only girl in the family. Now I am giving all my love and attention to my studies, family, God, friends and to my puppy love.


Me? I am nothing. I am just an ordinary person who knows how to feel, care, miss and especially love. But having my loved ones make my damn life special and extraordinary